Memoirs of a nun

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2009-05-20 23:52:10

Last author: sequeena_rae
Owner: sequeena_rae

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^{Brought to you by [sequeena_rae] and Sister Lisa; [starry_bellend]}

^{There is a moral to every story...Except this one.

Mwahahaha.}

^{This wiki is for Sister Lisa. She has decided to become a nun. Yes, a nun.}

^{Sister Lisa's journey in pictures. Additional words by [sequeena_rae]}

^{Past memoirs are kept here: Memoirs.}

^{New! Memoirs talks!}

^{Memoirs of a nun in words by [starry_bellend]}

^{Entry nine - The mods versus count Dracula!}

^{After enjoying a steak and ale pie in the greyhound, I made my way in the dead of night towards a run down old building in the middle of Transylvania (I am forced to reside here these days after being removed from every other fucking country on the face of the planet!). I was then joined by my good friend Sarah.

Before entering the building I took out the holy blood of Christ and blessed the building by downing the bottle. We then proceeded inside and were greeted by one hell of a fucking shit hole. We thought fuck it God will keep us safe and so we got down to it (sleeping that is).

We had been asleep but 10 minutes when I was roused by a strange voice, which I thought in my drowsy state was calling "I vant to suck your breast" but I was later informed by my companion that it was actually my blood that he wanted. We stood up and stared at the creature. "Right! I've had enough of this fucking shit! Piss off out now before we're forced to beat you down!" With that Sarah was wrestled to the floor by the being and a syringe was stuck in her neck. I was in shock as he drew blood from my friend. He then squirted some into his mouth and the remainder was squirted into the face of an old woman who happened to be passing through the building. He than made his way towards me and I gave him my best "I cant believe you've just egged me" eyes. I could do nothing but use my holy powers to pray to god. I fell to my knees and began chanting "Neef neef neef neef". I was then joined in my chant by Sarah from the floor. We finally realised that this wasn't going to work and I resigned myself to my fate. He lifted up the syringe to my neck when suddenly he bent over and squealed.

It was only then that I realised that Sarah had stuck a light bulb in his japs eye, and that he was now paralysed. Before running for our lives we stood for a minute and laughed until we shat ourselves.

We then ran, to where who knows but I'll tell you one thing, the fucking wind blew off my habit, and I had to make a prick of myself chasing after it down the street. We then decided that we would travel to Paris to see if the virgin Mary really has bleeding eyes, and also to see ZA BOYZ in concert on the 15th.}

^{To be continued...}

^{This wiki is a piss take.

In other words, you get offended, it's bloody tough.}

^{Back to;

[starry_bellend]

[sequeena_rae]

We are the mods!}

2006-09-20 [sequeena_rae]: We should make a rant about Bernie page -_-

2006-09-20 [Corazie]: Hahahahaha... xD

2006-09-21 [Jitter]: rofl

2006-09-21 [sequeena_rae]: Watch I say! Watch! x)

2006-09-21 [starry_bellend]: lmao in the words of take that, things can only get better

2006-09-21 [sequeena_rae]: xD! I agree x)

2006-09-21 [starry_bellend]: pmsl blows were thrown for fuck sake sar i sound like some old lady beater lmao

2006-09-21 [sequeena_rae]: I never said from whom the blows came from! XD

2006-09-21 [starry_bellend]: lmfao thats better lol omg lovin the last pic lol sex line pmsl

2006-09-21 [sequeena_rae]: We're on a roll today lmao, the comments just keep coming xD

2006-09-21 [Acceber]: Oooooooo! ... *laughs* This is soooo great! =D

2006-09-21 [sequeena_rae]: Thanks! *beams*

2006-09-21 [starry_bellend]: pmsl ini omg look at me on my pilgrimage lmao this is class

2006-09-21 [sequeena_rae]: You look like you're walking to the guillotine lmao

2006-09-21 [starry_bellend]: pmsl ye ini lk tomorrow ill bring me umberella and well ave a mary poppins shot lol

2006-09-21 [sequeena_rae]: By the bandstand lmao

2006-09-21 [Acceber]: *starts singing Mary Poppins songs* o.O; xD

2006-09-21 [sequeena_rae]: "Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down" XD

2006-09-21 [starry_bellend]: pmsl in the most delightful way :P with a drop of vodka in sister lisas case lol

2006-09-21 [sequeena_rae]: We wouldn't expect anything less lmao

2006-09-21 [starry_bellend]: lmao just to point out to everyone i suffer from a split personality disorder which means that by day i am sister lisa by night i am mystic midget although sometimes the 2 tend to overlap

2006-09-21 [sequeena_rae]: Sister Lisa always gets arse whipped too :P 3 - 0!!!!

2006-09-21 [Acceber]: Ooooooo! xD

2006-09-21 [starry_bellend]: ooo arrrr its ambrosia ooo arrr its ambrosia ooo arr ill come back dont u fukin worry lmao

2006-09-21 [sequeena_rae]: Will you hell, I'm just that good lmao.

2006-09-21 [Acceber]: Ahhhhhh! xD

2006-09-21 [sequeena_rae]: OMG it's Lisa's third personality, Bilbo the Pirate xD

2006-09-21 [starry_bellend]: lmfao we better hope we dont ave an eclipse tomorrow or none of us be seein the fukers lmao

2006-09-21 [sequeena_rae]: Is that such a bad thing? xD

2006-09-21 [starry_bellend]: lmfao no i suppose not lol omfg lk this is class lol

2006-09-21 [sequeena_rae]: Calm down now, or you'll have a happiness orgasm xD

2006-09-21 [starry_bellend]: excuse moi lol rememberin this is a public page pmsl

2006-09-21 [sequeena_rae]: *snicker* I have no modesty lmao

2006-09-21 [Acceber]: O_o I don't mind xD *gets popcorn* xD

2006-09-21 [starry_bellend]: im having a very holy tea tonight which the all rightueous slave (my mother) or fatty as she is more commonly known is makin lol. chicken burger waffle cheese n beans lmao

2006-09-21 [sequeena_rae]: xD She'd better serve the food properly or you'll fling her xD

2006-09-21 [starry_bellend]: ye lol using my all mighty strength :P

2006-09-21 [sequeena_rae]: You wouldn't think it to look at you xD

2006-09-21 [starry_bellend]: lmao wat all 5 ft 2 inches of me lol

2006-09-21 [sequeena_rae]: Indeed xD

2006-09-21 [starry_bellend]: anyone heard the song this is the house that funk built its?old now lk but ave u?

2006-09-21 [sequeena_rae]: Yes, why? xD

2006-09-21 [starry_bellend]: well the opening picture with me n he cave lol, this is the house that god built

2006-09-21 [sequeena_rae]: I should have seen that one coming x)

2006-09-21 [starry_bellend]: pmsl yes lov :P:P:P

2006-09-21 [starry_bellend]: rite en i have to go now food is ready might be on later if not ill meet u at5 to 10 isi?

2006-09-21 [sequeena_rae]: I'm losing my grip o.o;

2006-09-21 [Stephen]: LMAO!!! Awesome! I wanna read more now!

2006-09-21 [sequeena_rae]: There'll be more tomorrow :P

2006-09-21 [Corazie]: Yay ^_^

2006-09-21 [Stephen]: Awesome!

2006-09-21 [sequeena_rae]: Mwahahah x)
Any suggestions? :P

2006-09-21 [Corazie]: Do you get to do the dance?

2006-09-22 [starry_bellend]: we will now turn to hymn 69, the lord is our pervert (i know my shit )

2006-09-23 [sequeena_rae]: To look at you Lisa, you'd never think you were raised as a Catholic XD
There's a dance? o.o

2006-09-23 [starry_bellend]: pmsl

2006-09-23 [sequeena_rae]: We're going to have to think of a dance xD

2006-09-23 [starry_bellend]: ye lol we got one joyful joyful lmao very fitting i think lol

2006-09-23 [sequeena_rae]: Oh fucking hell xD

2006-09-23 [starry_bellend]: so what u think en lmao

2006-09-23 [sequeena_rae]: I want to give it an oscar xD Seriously, I'm still laughing my head off XD

2006-09-23 [starry_bellend]: lmfao are you omg i didnt even think it was that funny psml

2006-09-23 [Corazie]: Ah yes, there is a dance ;)

2006-09-24 [starry_bellend]: why are you so obsessed with dancing lmao

2006-09-24 [sequeena_rae]: I love it X)
You must teach us this dance!

2006-09-24 [starry_bellend]: we'll do a step by step picture reinactment of it lmao

2006-09-24 [sequeena_rae]: xD! Reminds me of expressive arts that does o.O

2006-09-24 [starry_bellend]: pmsl oh ye legs up !!

2006-09-24 [sequeena_rae]: Christ XD and the whole rolling thing lmao

2006-09-24 [starry_bellend]: omg ini what the fuck were we doin lmao

2006-09-24 [sequeena_rae]: Posing for page 3 lmao

2006-09-24 [starry_bellend]: pmsl stayin true to the sandfields way lol gettin a gcse and earnin some dosh on the way lmao

2006-09-24 [sequeena_rae]: Life couldn't get any better xD

2006-09-24 [starry_bellend]: pmsl

2006-09-24 [sequeena_rae]: Grah! I'm so bored T_T

2006-09-24 [starry_bellend]: can u think of ne songs for da mp3?

2006-09-24 [sequeena_rae]: Hmm, what have you got on there? o.O
omg Sweet dreams are made of these xD

2006-09-24 [starry_bellend]: lamo orite en stick with the classics lol

2006-09-24 [sequeena_rae]: Oooh I like Paolo Nutini's new song, Jenny don't be hasty or something it's called lmao

2006-09-24 [starry_bellend]: lmao ill ave a regarder for it lol

2006-09-24 [sequeena_rae]: Oui! Be sure you do xD

2006-09-24 [starry_bellend]: lol i think i is gonna leave the next entry till tomorrow give me something to do and u can put it up tues isi?

2006-09-24 [sequeena_rae]: Yeah alright then :D Gives you time to think of a masterpiece x)

2006-09-24 [starry_bellend]: ye mun :P

2006-09-24 [sequeena_rae]: Gives me time to clock up a few gollywogs when you're not looking too xP

2006-09-24 [starry_bellend]: lmao therell be no clocking up of gollywogs unless i am present lmao

2006-09-24 [sequeena_rae]: Fucking damn xD

2006-09-24 [starry_bellend]: lmao

2006-09-24 [sequeena_rae]: What if I take photos? xD

2006-09-25 [starry_bellend]: lmao that still dunt count :P the rematich will begin tomorrow lmao

2006-09-26 [starry_bellend]: so tis one nil who cares ill be back

2006-09-26 [sequeena_rae]: I still one xD

2006-09-26 [starry_bellend]: arghhhhh aye so you did

2006-09-26 [sequeena_rae]: Won even lmao!

2006-09-26 [starry_bellend]: pmsl i was gonna prompt u on that but i thought twice lmao

2006-09-26 [sequeena_rae]: I'm not up on my grammar lmao xD

2006-09-26 [starry_bellend]: lmao ad ne messages on the new entry lmao

2006-09-26 [sequeena_rae]: Not yet lmao xD

2006-09-26 [starry_bellend]: :P:P:P:P:P:P lisa marie and wee willy winkle

2006-09-26 [starry_bellend]: ok so maybe it doesnt rhyme lmao

2006-09-26 [sequeena_rae]: o.O Not quite, but you're getting there! XD

2006-09-26 [starry_bellend]: lmfao ill be the next dylan thomas yet lol

2006-09-26 [sequeena_rae]: *snicker* The day you write something like Under Milkwood is the day I kill you XD

2006-09-26 [starry_bellend]: lmfao i would never

2006-09-26 [sequeena_rae]: Liar xD

2006-09-26 [starry_bellend]: mrs ogmore pritchard: this fucking carpet is forever dirty mr ogmore. why is there cum on the bed sheets mr pritchard.
HUSBANDS; oh piss off for fuck sake. havent u got it by now u bitch. WERE GAY!!

2006-09-26 [sequeena_rae]: Oh good god! X_x the images! *puts in diary*

2006-09-26 [starry_bellend]: lmfao :P:P:P

2006-09-26 [sequeena_rae]: You're disgusting Lisa XD

2006-09-26 [starry_bellend]: soo disgusting you had to out it in ur diary lmao

2006-09-26 [sequeena_rae]: Can't miss an oppurtunity lmao

2006-09-26 [starry_bellend]: pmsl

2006-09-26 [sequeena_rae]: xD

2006-09-26 [starry_bellend]: every time i come on you i keep goin to type memoirs of a fukin geisha lmao

2006-09-26 [sequeena_rae]: i come on you
I'd be scared if you did come on me o.o; xD
Lmao!

2006-09-26 [starry_bellend]: lmfaoooooo i meant come on here lmao oh god my fukin brain

2006-09-26 [sequeena_rae]: It's down in the gutter xD

2006-09-26 [starry_bellend]: i know it has been all week im suspecting overload of gollywog

2006-09-26 [sequeena_rae]: That or you're a closet whore :o

2006-09-26 [starry_bellend]: lmfao no lets stick with the other idea poeple r gettin thte rong impression lol see my dyslexia is showin thru here lmao

2006-09-26 [sequeena_rae]: Zomg, I didn't know your name was Rhian xD

2006-09-26 [starry_bellend]: lfmaoo sorry to break it to u in this way sez :P

2006-09-26 [sequeena_rae]: *sob* Nooooooooooooooooo! No wonder you had a B in Psychology then! XD

2006-09-26 [starry_bellend]: pmsll ini me and my 24 hours to complete the fucker with bog breaks every half hours to look up answers :P

2006-09-26 [sequeena_rae]: You bastard lmao XD

2006-09-26 [starry_bellend]: lmao

2006-09-26 [sequeena_rae]: I'm glad it's only half day tomorrow X_x

2006-09-26 [starry_bellend]: oh ditto i was jsut about to say that lk ill be avin plenty of kip 2morro afternoon lk

2006-09-26 [sequeena_rae]: Innit, my eyes are drooping shut lmao

2006-09-26 [starry_bellend]: ini booolllooccckssed is da wrd

2006-09-26 [sequeena_rae]: Completely out of it xD

2006-09-27 [starry_bellend]: luvin it :P

2006-09-27 [sequeena_rae]: Loving like that x)

2006-09-27 [starry_bellend]: lmao what lk how u was luvin the camel lmao

2006-09-27 [sequeena_rae]: xD Oh suuuuure :P
Took you four days to get pissed of with Mr. T though! :o

2006-09-27 [starry_bellend]: lmfao i know :P

2006-09-27 [sequeena_rae]: You slut! XD

2006-09-27 [starry_bellend]: ah ha ah ha :P

2006-09-27 [sequeena_rae]: o.o; xD

2006-09-29 [starry_bellend]: omg i saw a car full of gollywogs on da way ome it woulda brought my total up and i would whopped ur bum hole (provided u hadnt spotted em first lmao)

2006-09-30 [sequeena_rae]: *snicker* Bet you I would have seen them xD

2006-09-30 [starry_bellend]: most probs lk lmao and iw oulda been left in shame pmsl

2006-09-30 [sequeena_rae]: *pet pet* Nevermind xD At least you admit I'm better xP

2006-09-30 [starry_bellend]: lol ye so far theres plenty of time lol ill ave to ge tur reward for monday lmao

2006-10-01 [starry_bellend]: anyone know "king coractacus"?

2006-10-01 [sequeena_rae]: xD! Who da fook?

2006-10-01 [Corazie]: I've heard...

2006-10-01 [starry_bellend]: its a song sez its good lol ill ave to show u it lol u do the actions lol

2006-10-01 [sequeena_rae]: xD Oh Christ lmao

2006-10-01 [Corazie]: Lmao xD Video?

2006-10-01 [sequeena_rae]: Christ no xD
Is it from Josephs technicolour dreamcoat?

2006-10-01 [starry_bellend]: no lol its a proper song i think its from the 80's or some shit my muva knows it lol

2006-10-01 [sequeena_rae]: God no xD

2006-10-01 [starry_bellend]: lol its hilarious sez ill teach u da actions n we can do it on haloween pmsl

2006-10-01 [sequeena_rae]: Bit like my monkey dance? >_> <_< I'll never forgive you for that XD

2006-10-01 [starry_bellend]: lmfaoo ye pmg im cryin by yuh

2006-10-01 [sequeena_rae]: Oh fuck off XD I was dying!

2006-10-02 [The Blood Angel]: madness I tell ya

2006-10-02 [starry_bellend]: lmao glad you like it

2006-10-03 [sequeena_rae]: You bet it is :P

2006-10-03 [starry_bellend]: i smell of lemons :P

2006-10-03 [sequeena_rae]: You do? o.O

2006-10-03 [starry_bellend]: yes i used lemon body wash as a lubricunt to shave my arms lmao

2006-10-03 [sequeena_rae]: TMI Lisa, TMI xD

2006-10-03 [starry_bellend]: lmao well dry shaving is painful lmao

2006-10-03 [sequeena_rae]: I know the feeling X_x

2006-10-03 [starry_bellend]: lmao lk back strokin a cat :P

2006-10-03 [sequeena_rae]: Oh christ Lisa, I don't want to know how you spend your time in the shower xD

2006-10-03 [starry_bellend]: lmfao omg sar!!! thats buzzin psmllll

2006-10-03 [sequeena_rae]: You put the idea in my mind xD

2006-10-03 [starry_bellend]: lmfao oh really i was talkin about cats literally not pussies lmao cringing at the word

2006-10-03 [sequeena_rae]: wtf has a cat got to do with shaving? XD

2006-10-03 [starry_bellend]: lol never mind

2006-10-03 [sequeena_rae]: Tell me tomorrow XD

2006-10-03 [starry_bellend]: ok :P

2006-10-03 [sequeena_rae]: Nonce XP

2006-10-03 [Estantia]: (i'm just watching and laughing, please feel free to continue as if I wasn't here)

2006-10-03 [sequeena_rae]: That's a bit hard seeing as Lisa has fucked off XP

2006-10-03 [Estantia]: ah.....hm... tricky problem indeed...

2006-10-03 [sequeena_rae]: *channels her spirit* Mmmm...Onion rings...XD

2006-10-03 [Estantia]: que the what?

2006-10-03 [sequeena_rae]: Indeed :P

2006-10-03 [Estantia]: y no es importante que hables frances solamente...

2006-10-03 [sequeena_rae]: Err, yeah.

2006-10-03 [Estantia]: and it's not important that you only speak french...

2006-10-03 [sequeena_rae]: o.O; What's that go to do with anything?

2006-10-03 [Estantia]: I said it in spanish :P

2006-10-04 [starry_bellend]: omg wat the fuckin hell have i missed lmfao lovin the sarcasam sez lol

2006-10-04 [sequeena_rae]: I still don't get it o.O
Lmao, what like your 'BE THIN!' whenever you see someone you don't want to talk to? XD

2006-10-04 [starry_bellend]: lmaoo what dont u get je suis confused lmao

2006-10-04 [sequeena_rae]: The Spanish and French link lmao Tis tres (fuck this computer for its lack of accents) confuserai xD

2006-10-04 [starry_bellend]: lmfao oh yes now i understanderai :P

2006-10-04 [sequeena_rae]: Do you love me-erai? xD

2006-10-04 [starry_bellend]: thats randomerai yeserai but not in the gay relationshiperai way lol do you love me-erai ? lmao

2006-10-04 [sequeena_rae]: Tis a ratherai weird questionerai isn't iterai? But yeserai, I love you-erai and not in the gayerai way eitherai xD
Just had a randomerai thought about Psychologyerai, I forgoterai to tell you-erai about the randomerai discussionerai we haderai xD

2006-10-04 [starry_bellend]: oherai okerai tell me-erai lmao

2006-10-04 [sequeena_rae]: *tellerais* Some randomerai boy saiderai that there-erai was no sucherai thing as-erai love. So-erai, everyone gangederai up on himerai and startederai going offerai about the differenterai types of love-erai. Poor boyerai shaterai himself.

2006-10-04 [starry_bellend]: poor boyerai oh yeah r them weirderai boyserai from last yr inerai your classerai?

2006-10-04 [sequeena_rae]: What the boyserai that we wanted to-erai stab in the eyeserai? No, I thinkerai that they droppederai it. XD

2006-10-04 [starry_bellend]: oh yeserai thats gooderai the silly cunterai

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